Freewill

You know God’s best gift to us? – Freewill!  We are nothing but our decisions. What we decide today will tread our path for our future.

There is something interesting about the objective examinations (as many certifications I have appeared for in the recent past). The questions aren't the toughest part anymore; the answers are! The answers would all be seemingly correct! But you are expected to pick the BEST out of them. There is definitely just one correct answer that the examiner is looking for to be ticked by you. And how do you do it – One, you've either mugged up the book, second you know the keywords. Experience counts too at times. And you've nailed it.

But god (supposedly) made it much simpler for life (or so he thought he was doing!) – All the options given are correct, equally correct, mind you. You have all the rights in the world to pick the answer you want and take it up from there. Talk of freewill! They would just lead to different paths. No negative marking! Nice na? You make or you break. That is one reason I miss my school/college days. We didn't get to exercise our freewill too much. Decisions were made for us. You didn't get to bear the brunt! Life was simple. 

And Russell says...

Aries Male - He's an ardent, fiery and zealous lover. He will probably enjoy a number of love-affairs before deciding on the 'love of his life'. Once in a committed relationship he will be kind and considerate (in his own way!) He's always on the go; adventurous and impetuous. A frail and sensitive partner might find him too demanding and life with him too challenging!

Aries Female - She knows exactly what she wants from life and love and she will be in at the deep end, almost from the start. She can be hasty, impatient and prone to sudden outbursts of anger. She is a frank and independent woman who would never stoop to deceit. She needs a strong partner who can cope with all her Martian energy.

The Reckoning Song

Jan29 - Feb17: 2014

This was the longest I had been away from home on a holiday.

Why did I go to B'lore. Well yes, to see Amy. I don't now why I had to be there. And so I was. I also knew with my disappearing act I wouldn't have him accompany me even if I wanted to, but I just wanted to be there.

30-Jan mamu and family left for Chandigarh and I left for Tirupathi. Of course Amy dropped me and picked me up the next evening when I returned. It was nice, sweet. The shortest I have known someone. And even before I knew something was building up, we broke up!! That was NEWS.

I then went to Belur-Haleebedu. It was hot, but good.

I had decided to go for the 9 days temple tour which happened every second and fourth Saturday. I had 3 days in hand before this trip. So I again took up the Mysore trip. I was yet to see the Mysore palace. Mid way Sl calls to say ' you don't come back, take your journey ahead to Kushalnagar!'. I went 'oo..kk'. After the Brindavan garden treat, I told my guide I wanted to stay back in Mysore. He had me dropped right near the hotel where Sl had made the arrangements. The nights rest was a respite. Now I had to decide whether I pick up the Somnathour route or Kushalnagar one. They were in opposite directions from Mysore. So I first took a cab from Mysore to Somnathpur, saw the temple, came back to Myosre and then took a bus for Kushalnagar (get down at Koppa and then take an auto. It's some 2-3 kms frm Koppa. They wil cherge 40/bucks). They refer to the Monastry as the 'Golden Temple'. This place was all the worth. The chants the prayers. I could listen to it for hours to go.

Good things about being a lonely travel: 
It's convenient. You don't have to take into consideration if the other person with you is tired hungry thirst. You just carry on. No obligations.
No issues doing the disappearing act anytime. No one to care about you
Better to be alone and feel lonely than be in company and feel lonely

Not so good things: 
It's fine till you alone. But once it starts to get lonely it doesn't feel nice.
It's always fun to have an accomplice.
It's nice to have someone to care for and care about
No one to hold hands
No one to look forward to for some motivation when you are tired and almost about to give up

No one to say - 'come on we're almost there'

No shoulder to sleep on
Everyone thinks you are one lonely desperate woman

08Feb-16Feb

Longest I have been in company. If this is what being married is, I liked it. The kiss on the forehead. Holding hands. The little touch before giving monetary offerings to the gods. The parikrama's around the deity. Just being together. I know I ruined it all. But why not. I knew you were to end it this way or the other. Why should I cause more pain for myself?

I sure have an inkling for the city, one of the reasons being you.

One day oh baby we'll be old, think of all the stories we could've told

Recently read in an obituary:

Love and death are not very different - one takes the heart and the other the beats.

True probably - only if i knew about the authenticity of the love taking the heart part. so they say. Just because you stop thinking from your brains when you in love, or because they say love is blind? Or something else? But then why do people talk about "getting along well", "good communication", "understanding", "frequency matches" when asked what they like about being in the relation they are or what makes it going rather than "love" alone.

There is only one love I know - what mommy has for me and also what papa has for me. There is nothing so selfless and pure like what they have for us. Never expecting in return, never asking, communication or no communication, frequency or no frequency - at the end of the day, it all boils down to "beta khana kha lo":). Do you feel that ways for someone too? Other than your kids of course - or you are a parent you'd know what it is. I am not yet, and therefore still crude and ruthless and a moron.

They say, there are many kinds of love, many forms of it - what you share with your parents, your family, your siblings, friends, your stuff, your teachers, your beloved, your husbands, your wives, your favorite tee, your first date, your

....I just wish we all go through all of them and know it a little more better.